Dear Men,
Your biggest sex organ is the one between your ears, and knowledge is indeed power. Fortunately for me, when “I lost my hard on” because of a lack of knowledge and understanding, I was with a woman who was quite knowledgeable and willing to share a secret of how to regain a lost erection. As promised, I will share with you what she said momentarily.
It was the first time I had been with Sarah, a very attractive women 10 years my junior. Even though it seemed I was powerless at the moment I lost my erection, impotent if you will, I wasn’t. You see, I had learned a long time ago we should not find our sense of well-being in our performance or what we do. After all, we’re called human beings NOT human doings .
Learning to “be” in life is crucial. So, I decided to “be in that moment”, to go deeper beyond the disappointment of what just had happened to see if there was something more to be gained from the experience.
So I asked Sarah, “This isn’t the first time this has happened to you, is it?” She said, “Oh, it happens all the time.” I asked, “Why is that?” She responded, “Glenn, at its core sex between men and women is nothing but a struggle for power and control. If the man wins, both win. If the woman wins, both lose.” A woman, a very smart liberated woman, told me this!
Obviously, not being able to finish strong was not what I wanted. However, I am so glad it went the way it did, with the woman it did. Some women, in the “struggle for power and control”, would have used it as a weapon against their partner. But Sarah did not.
I will have a lot more to say about this “struggle for power and control” between men and women in future posts. But for now, suffice it to say, it’s probably not what you think.
In the world of single adults out there today you will hear this common refrain, “I am so sick of the games. I don’t want to play games anymore.” When you hear that, you know that person doesn’t have a clue as to what is happening in the male-female dynamic.
Have you ever heard it called “the mating game” or “the game of life”? Why do you think that is? Because it is a game! Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is moot. It has all the characteristic of a game. There are rules, strategies, victories, losses, “ups and downs”, triumphs, disappointments, winners and losers.
Which do you want to be, a winner or a loser?
The game is ALWAYS on between men and women. Most of us have a sense of it but don’t have the first idea of what is actually going on, why it’s going on or what to do about it. Just like playing tennis or golf or chess, competing can be fun, rewarding and beneficial to all concerned when done effectively.
When Sarah and I went on our date, of course the game was on. Because of the radio show I was doing at the time on sex and relationships, I had learned a lot I had not known prior. I had done a ton of research, all the interviews and hundreds of hours of off-the-air counseling with the experts. I knew the game would be on. After I met Sarah, I knew she knew , too. And she knew I knew. It was quite the battle royal. LOL.
After a few hours of talk and cocktails, apparently I had established that I was a “worthy competitor”, got back to her place and was pretty much in control…until. That was until Sarah turned me over and started riding me. And that’s when I lost my hard on. While I had been in control for most of the evening and was “winning”, taking charge in bed, all of a sudden she turned the tables on me when she turned me over. It went south from there.
I just couldn’t help myself. “This isn’t the first time this has happened to you, is it?” I asked her. She said, “Oh, it happens all the time.” I asked, “Why is that?” She responded, “Glenn, at its core sex between men and women is nothing but a struggle for power and control. If the man wins, both win. If the woman wins, both lose.”
She said, “You lost tonight and I lost tonight”.
“What should I have done?” I wanted to learn and know more.
Little did I know she was about to share a secret that would end up helping me and an untold number of men (and women) overcome what can be a very embarrassing and relationship-damaging situation.
“You should have just retaken charge, turned me back over, gone down on me, taken care of my needs and gotten your mind off yourself. You would have come back.”
As she said this, I literally could feel myself getting aroused again. Just knowing the solution turned me on! Knowing truth has always been a major turn-on for me. How about you?
The lesson I learned that night goes way past regaining an erection. Although, believe me, the next time that happens to you, do what Sarah said. It works! You’ll feel better and so will your partner. You’ll win and so will she! However, like so much about human sexuality, this lesson can be extrapolated to every area of life.
When you are feeling and experiencing weakness, being ineffective or “flaccid”—get your mind off yourself! Use the strength you have to take care of someone else’s needs.
You’ll come back!
Stay logged on for the next G-Spot: “ BE a Dick”.
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Your Coach for Life,
Glenn